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Kevin and Conor
Kevin and Conor
Good morning! Good afternoon! Good middle of the night! Whatever time of day it is, thanks for reading this. We’re Conor and Kevin, and we are hoping to become parents together through adoption. We have been thinking for a long time not just about being parents, but also about the decision a birth mother makes to give others the opportunity to love and raise her child. We have such respect for that choice and for the love and trust it conveys. We know this process and relationship is diﬀerent for everyone, and we expect to learn and grow as we form an adoption plan with someone who chooses us, with whatever level of openness she chooses. If you think we might be the right people for you and your child, we would love to hear from you.
We met in Los Angeles in the summer of 2012, on a dating app that shall remain nameless (does it really matter what app?!? Geez.) Conor was ﬁnishing his last year of graduate ﬁlm school at USC, directing a web-series with his classmates (plot: a song-and-dance gal from 1953 recently de-thawed and wants to become the new face of Subway sandwich shoppes™). Kevin was working as a labor and employment lawyer for a legal aid organization, representing workers who had been the victims of wage-theft and human traﬃcking. We met for dinner, and then we met for dinner again, and we went to some concerts and movies and plays and dinner parties, met each others’ friends and families, and fell in love. We were married in a Quaker ceremony in June of 2016 on Squam Lake in New Hampshire, with the White Mountains standing tall in the distance. Kevin was raised in a Quaker family in Virginia, and Conor’s parents live on Squam Lake. In May of 2020, we moved into a house in the Mt. Washington neighborhood of Los Angeles with our dog Tazzy in tow. We wanted to move to a place where we could build a family, and as we look back, we have been preparing for this over the course of our entire relationship.
Kevin (by Conor)
Kevin is the smartest person I’ve ever met, and he has the biggest heart. He cares deeply about other people, his family and friends, and humanity in general. He’s dedicated his life to justice and civil rights, and has fought for those who often had no other advocate. He’s stood up against big corporations and institutions on behalf of human beings who have been taken advantage of, whose basic civil rights have been violated because of where they are from, the color of their skin, their lack of resources, their gender, their faith, a disability, or who they love. These are just a few of the reasons that I love him so deeply, but it’s also because of the mundane things: the way he makes me laugh, smiles at me, jokes with me, cooks me dinner, takes care of our plants and our dog, the way he tells me the truth when no one else will, or shares with me his deepest fears, desires, and heartaches. It’s for these reasons and many more that Kevin will be an exceptional father. He loves fully, even though it’s scary. He ﬁghts for the people he loves. He respects them enough to allow them to grow into the people they want to be. It ﬁlls me with joy to think of him teaching our child about the plants that grow in our backyard, or the reasons that mountains and deserts exist, to read to his child from the books that he loved growing up, or teach them how to make lasagna the way his host mother in Italy taught him when he was a foreign exchange student there. Kevin has love to give, and he does not take for granted what it means to love. There’s nothing I look forward to more than watching him become a father.
Conor (by Kevin)
Conor loves life. He is a constant reminder to me that despite fears, challenges, and heartbreaks, life is also ﬁlled with joy and fun and good times. He loves games of all kinds and frequently tries to convince me to play board games or cards (no thanks). He loves to play and watch many sports. He is an excellent skier and knows how to sail boats (these things are beyond me). Every day, he invents new songs, raps, characters, and voices to make me and everyone around us laugh. He loves silly comedy (I have been forced to watch The Naked Gun three times this year). He enjoys good food and fancy sit-down lunches (one of the nicknames my family gave him is “Five Star”). He also loves reading novels and watching movies and all genres of shows. I’m proud of the work he does making documentaries, often on serious and diﬃcult subjects. But even working on serious projects he never loses his sense of fun. Conor is intensely loyal. Many of his closest friends are friends from his childhood schools and the summer sleep-away camp he went to every year in New Hampshire. He never gives up on anyone, and is the ﬁrst to reach out to someone in need. He is the life of every party and get-together, he makes new friends easily and keeps them, and he sees the best in everyone. He is an excellent balance to me: he makes me better, more trusting, more open, and more fun. Conor has wanted to be a dad since we met. I don’t know anyone who I think would be a more loving and supportive father.
Our Promises to You
One of Kevin’s closest friends once told us (talking about raising her own children) that the best thing she can do as a parent is try to be the parent that her kids need, whoever those kids end up being and whatever they end up needing. This has stuck with us. We don’t know who our kid will end up being or what they will need, but we are committed to trying to be the best parents for that person. We place a very high value on education, and it’s important to us to always keep learning about the world and the people in it. We know that our child will be exposed to our love for the natural world and the animals and plants around us. As a civil rights lawyer and a documentarian, it’s also important to us that our child learn about our histories, including histories of struggle for greater equality and freedom in our country and world. What we can promise is that our child will be surrounded by the love of our big families and many dear friends who are committed to supporting us as parents.
Our Family & Friends
We are both very close to our families, all of whom are very excited to welcome a grandchild, niece or nephew, or cousin into their lives. Kevin is the oldest of four boys, and his brothers are his closest friends. One brother lives in Washington DC, another in New York City with his wife, and another in Tokyo, Japan with his wife. Kevin’s mother passed away from breast cancer when he was in his early twenties, though her spirit remains an essential part of the bond he shares with his family. His father and wonderful step-mother live in Virginia, and he has three awesome step-sisters, who with their husbands are parents to eight of our nieces and nephews (soon to be nine). Conor recently stopped by Virginia on a work trip, and along with the ﬁve Virginia nephews, set up a cash cow of a lemonade stand. Conor is the oldest of three siblings, and his brother and sister are his closest friends. His parents live in New Hampshire and Baltimore, along with Conor’s sister, her husband, and our three nieces. Conor’s brother lives in London, England with his wife.
We are also very fortunate to have amazing friends here in California, around the country, and around the world whom we consider our chosen family. We both have friends within walking distance of our house whom we have been close with for over twenty years. We are a part of their families, and we are so excited for them to be a part of our child’s life.
Our Community & Home
We love our neighborhood, and our house! Our home has redwood trees growing in the backyard, tucked in a quiet corner of Mt. Washington, which is a hillside community on the east side of Los Angeles. We can see the San Gabriel mountains from our bedroom window, and we’ve spent many wonderful weekend days hiking those trails. The neighborhood is diverse with lots of kids and families. There’s a great park with a playground a short walk from our house that we go to every day with our dog, Tazzy. We live in a wonderful public school district, and plan to send our child to Mt. Washington Elementary. Our house has three bedrooms and three bathrooms, with lots of space, sidewalks for chalk drawings, and neighborhood kids eager for someone to play basketball or tag, or run around in the park with Tazzy, and all the other dogs and kids!